Butterfly or Moth?
We all know what happens to caterpillars, right? One day, the caterpillar stops eating, hangs upside down from a twig or leaf and spins itself a silky cocoon or molts into a shiny chrysalis. Within its protective casing, the caterpillar radically transforms its body, eventually emerging as a butterfly or moth. It has been a year since we entered into this strange world of COVID-19 and most of us are questioning what life will be like once we are past this pandemic. You might be uncertain as to what the new normal will be in the upcoming few months and even wonder if we will ever see things the way they were before this unprecedented event rocked the entire world. I encourage you to consider how or if you have been transformed during this past year and how will you look as you come out of your cocoon.
I am not suggesting we consider our physical appearance here. The rush to salons, barber shops, gyms and nail salons has been epic since things have begun opening up a bit and will likely continue to surge. I’d rather us focus on our perspective. What will we be able to say about what we’ve done or learned during this time at home? Will our transformation be something of beauty or something less majestic? In other words, will we see our change from this time in the form of a beautiful butterfly or a pesky moth? And, just to be clear, there are only two options for each caterpillar – no middle ground. Luckily, as humans we can find middle ground. Whatever the result is I believe it fair to say that everyone has been impacted by this pandemic. The question is how and how much.
Thinking of this in terms of habits and personal finances, have you undergone any transformative process in your own habits or approaches to managing your money as a result of the pandemic? I have talked with so many people who are looking hard at the things they previously felt were necessities until they couldn’t get them. To some they long for the days of indulging those pleasures. For others, they’ve determined they don’t really need those items or services and are vowing not to spend money on them in the future.
I’ve talked with clients who have had the rug pulled out from underneath them. They’ve lost income, maybe even jobs as a result of this crisis and they find themselves exposed in ways they never thought possible. It has shaken them to their core and they are transforming their money management practices to avert any resemblance of exposure in the future. Their motto has now become “I will never again put myself or my family in that situation.”
For those fortunate enough not to have lost income, many have expressed a deeper sense of appreciation for the security of their situation and are likewise more focused on protecting it from future catastrophes. This pandemic has given them a new appreciation for their resources and renewed focus on ensuring their behavior is sustainable into the future.
Some have explained to me they planned well for emergencies, thus their ability to give and help those in need has reignited what it feels like to live a life of generosity. Further, they can exert their generosity right in their own neighborhood versus the gap they feel when their generosity is granted to those miles, cities, or even continents away. One client in particular shared with me the joy she felt by being able to help out a neighbor and in doing so saw directly the impact her giving had on that family. For her, having planned well for the unexpected gave her the chance to put food on the table of someone she see’s daily but never anticipated would need help. Wow! What a real, tangible demonstration of loving your neighbor.
When it comes to our personal finances it is said that a healthy financial structure is based upon knowledge and behavior. But only 20% is a direct result of knowledge and 80% is a result of behavior. What have your behaviors the past few months illuminated for you that will transform your financial future? Consider your spending habits. Are you spending less now? If so, and I would say most of us are, why? Can that become a new normal for you? I spoke with a dear friend the other day who shared that she had just recently begun shopping in person again since last March. Previously it was a rare week if she did not make many routine visits to local retailers. While she has stepped back into visiting stores in person, it is a slow and cautious process. She has a new appreciation of the time she previously spent wandering the racks and has vowed that time will be used in much more productive endeavors from here on out. Her transformation includes a realization that perhaps those retail visits were just a means of indulgence and maybe even a waste of her precious time. As the pandemic wore on this year, she threw herself into writing and reaching out to members of her community to lend support. I am confident her transformation will be butterfly like and cannot wait to see the fruits of her time repurposed into creating beautiful readings and helping her community.
I had another friend share with me how her grocery buying habits have changed drastically. No longer is she shopping on a whim every few days. Instead, she has begun the habit of making a meal plan for each week and using her drastically reduced grocery visits to meet the needs on her list. She no longer gives into the impulses of cravings she’d experience each day prior to COVID and is saving both time and money in doing so. Again, a beautiful butterfly in the making!
I haven’t spoken to anyone like this so far, but I’m confident there will be moths. There will be those who become caught up in the race to the retail, service, entertainment or restaurant venues as they open. They may be of any income level and still feel the pull of marketers to drag them back into spending money – even money they don’t have. They will spend that money simply because they have missed the adrenaline rush that results from making purchases. If you feel yourself vulnerable to such marketing, ready yourself. There will be an advertising push like we’ve never seen before. Advertisers will tell us we “deserve” to buy the things we’ve not bought in months. They will work tirelessly to convince us that we are supporting the economy by spending our cash like it has never been spent before. Be very careful. In fact, some of the justification behind the economic stimulus packages was to encourage spending. Supporting the economy is great – just don’t get carried away and throw your budget out the window.
New behaviors need time to become habits. If you’ve read some of my other blogs, you may recall that habits need to be Obvious, Easy, Attractive and Satisfying. And you may recall my belief that we can’t always predict how long it will take for a new habit to form. So, if you are still creating healthy habits that support a vibrant financial future, stay focused as the world opens back up again. Giving up, losing intentionality, thinking life will go back to exactly the way it was before COVID hit are easy distractors from staying in the game. Recommit today to those habits that you have formed this year or are still molding.
Now, I am not a scientist, but what I have read about caterpillars leaves me wondering if they have the power to choose what their transformation will look like. Maybe some want to be moths, I just don’t know. But folks fortunately, we do have a choice about our own transformation. Choose wisely whether your transformation will result in beauty and grace and awe or whether it will produce a dusty, fluttering pest like creature.
